POSITIVE ATTITUDE

Image credit: Melissa Williams

 

Melissa Williams:

Yvonne founded Positive Attitude to 83-84 - 1983/84. Um, there was a real need, you know, it was the height of the AIDS crisis. And most of the guys, the pos guys had gone into public housing. They'd been told, you know, “well, you've got AIDS, you're going to die.” So they cashed in their super and sold it, and blew all their savings on first class trips to Paris. Some of them didn't die. And so they were here on pensions and struggling. So Yvonne thought she'd help them out with some meals, so she'd cook up some big pots of soup and put them in the back of her car, ‘The Golden Holden’, as she called it. And, uh, drive around with these big pots of soup around to The Ministry of Housing places in, um, Carlton, Fitzroy, uh, yeah, all around inner north. And, uh, then she sort of got to realise that so many of the guys are living alone and that she'd literally, you know, they'd be floors away or a street away and that sort of thing and experiencing this isolation and loneliness. So, she started saying, “oh, you know, like her next week, so-and-so lives just around the corner. Meet me at his place. It'll save me coming up your stairs,” or that sort of thing. And so she'd introduced these guys, you know, and so friendships were formed and, you know, she saw the importance of not only a free feed, but this social connection as well. Then she got space at Saint Marks In Fitzroy, the church hall there, and they'd have the lunch there and then that was the way for everyone to actually get together and meet up. And, yeah, and so it just sort of evolved from there. City of Yarra have always been, um, really good, uh, supporters of Positive Attitude. And we now run from the Edinburgh Gardens Community Room every Friday. We yeah, still, still do a free lunch, and in this post lockdown era, you know, we all realise how important that social connection is. And most of these guys now, they're long term survivors, they're all older men and, um, so many of them are still experiencing this social isolation, so much more than just a free lunch. 

 

And Yvonne. Ah, well, larger than life, absolute snazzy dresser, full of incredible style. Like, you know, she do the the big Preston market shop on a Wednesday for the Friday lunch and you’d come to pick her up and it'll be what outfit’s she gonna wear today? And she'd be dressed to the nines hat, all the jewels, you know, just to go shopping at Preston Market, absolutely resplendent in all this finery. And of course, everyone knew her at the market. And, um, which was amazing because after she passed away, it was good that I knew the particular places where she bought things from. So, like a Christmas time for our Christmas lunch, I went to the chicken shop guy and said, I remember, you know, the lady I used to bring here, and she passed away - and they're all very sad to hear that - and but it was great because they honoured her memory. They gave me fantastic discounts on buying a turkey for Christmas and various things. So that was really good. But yeah, it was um, absolute huge loss. She also, uh, yeah, more than a free lunch ethos and was always on the end of the phone for people and, um, always the life of the party. She loved- the stamina she had, you know, in her 70s, was just inspirational to me. And yeah, at her funeral, you know, as the hearse drove off, we broke into song, this spontaneous sort of cabaret. You know, what use is sitting alone in your room? You know, she was just always out. Any opportunities she got; Yvonne was there. As always dressed to the nines. Concerts, you know, parties. She loved music. Uh, a real bon-vivant, as they, they say, you know, loved life, loved a good party. 

 

I think generally, on a whole, it has got better. I think sometimes, one of the guys said to me recently he wishes they'd do a bit of the U=U campaign in our own community because they're finding that there's still a bit of stigma out there. Uh, you know, in regards to even though PrEP’s around now, and there's all these amazing things that help people live long lives and, you know, um, have no viral load and that sort of thing. There's still a bit of ignorance in the queer community around that, and a bit of stigma. So, but look, I'm not a gay man, so how can I know? So anyway. But, um, yeah, I think it's definitely improved. I mean, at my age, I was around from the beginning of it in the 80s, and it was horrific in those days and even into the 90s, all those obituaries, all the death notices in the queer press every week was just, uh, unbelievable. But one amazing thing was, though, they started to get less and less as we got into the mid 90s. And there also alongside those, there were birth notices because the lesbians were all having babies, which was really lovely, and it was a really nice sort of circle of life thing. And it was a great day when those, those obituaries really were just few and far between. 

 

I started volunteering with Yvonne about 17 years ago, and mainly because, you know, I have a son, donor conceived. And we're not religious in any way, but I wanted him to have some sense of community and volunteering and helping out- the rent we pay for, for being on the planet sort of thing, you know, helping people out. And, the community, you know, they're all I look at- they're all my gay brothers. We all look after each other in our community. We've got a very proud history of that. And so, yeah. And Yvonne had there was an ad in one of the street press, that Yvonne needed Volunteers for Christmas. So I phoned her and it all started from there. And Riley and I would go along on Christmas Eve every year and help do the setup and prep for the Christmas Day. And then once Yvonne found out, you know, that I was willing to help her out more, I'd get these phone calls about taking her to do the shopping and this and that, and it sort of grew from there. And, I could see how important it was to the people that come to these lunches – Christmas Day says it all. You know, the amount of people that still have nowhere to go on Christmas Day and spend the day alone. Um, it's really important what we do. So, yeah, I think Yvonne would be proud and really chuffed that we've continued it on. These amazing volunteers that come along and help every year that just feel privileged to be able to do it, which is wonderful. Um, and yeah, and Yvonne was my friend and it's, you know, it's a really important work and I did have a lot of encouragement, like, they're very big shoes to fill and I don't think I'll ever feel them. But, you know, people encouraged me that, you know, you could do it. I've always suffered badly from imposter syndrome. And, you know, Chris Driscoll – Sircuit, he's probably my biggest, greatest champion. And he really encouraged me so that I could do it. And yeah. And so six years on from Yvonne passing away in 2018, this year, this is my sixth year doing it now, running the show. And yeah I think I think we're doing okay.